Friday, February 25, 2011

WWJCD? (Not what you think)

Everything I need to know about 9-point Alignment systems I learned from Johnny Cash.

What do you mean, I lose my Paladin abilities?

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

Lawful Good
Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

Neutral Good
And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I know I wouldn't be there to help you along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."

Chaotic Good
A crazy screaming lynch mob waited in the streets of Austin
But he put me in the jail house and he threw the key away

Lawful Neutral
Well, I ain't never done nothin' to nobody
I ain't never got nothin' from nobody, no time
And until I get something from somebody, sometime
I don't intend to do nothin' for nobody, no time

I met her accidentally in St. Paul, Minnesota
And it tore me up every time I heard her drawl, Southern drawl
Then I heard my dream was back downstream Cavortin' in Davenport
And I followed you, Big River, when you called

Chaotic Neutral
Now, I never considered myself a thief
GM wouldn't miss just one little piece
Especially if I strung it out over several years.

Lawful Evil
First time I shot her I shot her in the side
Hard to watch her suffer
But with the second shot she died
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

Neutral Evil
Well I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Chaotic Evil

Alright, I'm thinking about photoshopping up one of those 'motivational poster' deals with pics of the Man in Black and the quotes above.  But if anyone's got any better lyrics from Mr. Cash to highlight an alignment, I'm open to suggestions.


  1. Love 'em all, except for lawful evil. Stealing one piece at a time just doesn't seem evil enough, and definitely isn't lawful. Brilliant idea, though. Brilliant.

  2. Was thinking of the fact that it took careful long term planning (lawful) to carry out a crime (evil). The end result, however, is very Chaotic, so you may be right. :D

  3. Brilliant, can't wait to see the poster!

  4. We can learn a lot from Mr Cash. This is very well done!

  5. I'd consider "One Piece At A Time" more Chaotic Neutral with evil tendencies, but that's just me.

    I definitely want a Demotivator poster with the "What do you mean, I lose my Paladin abilities?" on it, though. That's gold.

  6. You got Johnny Cash in my D&D!

    Love it.

  7. *gobsmacked*


  8. Nicely done! I'll keep thinking on Lawful Evil. I think your example covers lawful well, since the alignment system really has little to do with a person's relationship to written laws, but instead covers behaviour and outlook. But yeah, stealing car parts, not evil.

  9. I like this, but then I'm a big Cash fan.

  10. So any suggestions for Lawful Evil that are better than what I already have? I've got the demotivational poster almost finished.

  11. I love how you organized the evils!
    Those are some choice quotes.