Thursday, February 7, 2013

James M. speaks

There seems to be a divergence in the OSR now between forums, blogs, and G+.  I know I hardly ever visit any RPG related forums anymore, and I never really took the dive into G+ (too many people posting way too often for me to follow much of any conversations).  So many blog readers (assuming you're kinda like me and prefer the blog format) have likely heard that James Maliszewski of GROGNARDIA has gone off-line recently, leaving his Dwimmermount Kickstarter supporters rather upset.  Personally, I didn't back the Kickstarter, but I had just been added to James's G+ Hangouts group to play in Dwimmermount when his father grew suddenly ill. 

Anyway, I was checking G+ today, and saw that James had made a post.  If you're on G+ this is likely old news, but if you aren't on G+ or haven't checked it lately, here's what James had to say about his situation:

James Maliszewski

6:18 AM  -  Limited
As some of you know, my father fell terribly ill in the early summer of last year, exacerbating a previous medical condition, and nearly died. Though he survived, his memory and intellect did not; he succumbed to alcohol-induced dementia. He does not know who he is or why he is in a nursing home. His prognosis then was not a positive one: he would likely live but the chances of his regaining his memory were slim to none. My family and I accepted this and tried to deal with it as best we could, which, as it turns out, wasn't very well. As the shock of the near-death emergency wore off, I convinced myself that, though my father's body was still alive, he was gone and that I'd dealt with that reality.

Shortly before Christmas, I learned that my father's physical condition had worsened. He was refusing to eat or drink, was barely coherent, and spent most of his time sleeping. I was told to expect him to die soon, so I rushed to see him before he did so. I was not prepared for what I saw. For a number of reasons, I had not seen my father face to face in several years and, when I did so, he was barely recognizable to me. At that moment, I realized that I had not in fact dealt with my father's death, the imminent prospect of which, rattled me to a degree I cannot begin to articulate.

Since Christmas, my father's condition has fluctuated wildly, improving just enough that he remains alive, but not enough that he no longer in danger of death. Needless to say, this has done me little good. My father and I had what could best be called a "complex" relationship and that, coupled with both the suddenness of his decline and the uncertainty about his immediate future, has taken its toll on me, as those closest to me can attest. I find it extremely difficult to do anything during these past weeks other than simple daily tasks. This note is the first time I've written anything at my computer since late last year and I'm doing it only because I've been informed that at least a few of you are concerned about my absence.

I'm doing my best to shake myself from this torpor, but it's not an easy process. My father remains in danger of death and that weighs heavily on my thoughts. Finding the desire to do anything during this time is difficult for me. I know I will find it again, but, until I do, I see little point in forcing it. Better that I unplug and stick close to family and those friends who truly understand and empathize with my situation.

In the meantime, know that I am alive, if not well, and will poke my head above water again when I feel I am in the frame of mind to do so. Prayers and well wishes are much appreciated. If I have ever done anything to earn your charity and compassion, now is the time I need them most.
 Hopefully James won't mind me reprinting this here in full.  I just wanted to get the word out into the Blogosphere for the benefit of readers not on G+.

And James, you probably won't read this, but as I mentioned on your G+ post, I wish you the best and hope you take the time you need to get over this sad time in your life.

And for those of you who backed Dwimmermount and are worried you might never see it, well, I'd ask you to just be a little more patient.  Give James a chance.  He's a good guy, and we should be supporting him in this difficult time.


  1. If he would actually just make even one post on Grognardia every week or so, updating everyone, this whole fiasco would not have happened. He's full of crap, imo.

  2. His is an extremely personal and revealing message and must have been terribly difficult to write. Not really something for the avuncular tone of Grognardia. As for this "fiasco," I have been guilty of far worse sins than being late and incommunicado for a project, so I cannot judge.

  3. It's good to hear from him, but this was way too much information, way too personal. His fans and project backers really just wanted an update on his product, I daresay. He could have given just a tidbit about his personal problems as well as an apology for the lateness of Dwimmermount, and that would have sufficed. And he should have done it weeks ago.

    I don't mean to be harsh, but seriously, a little bit of communication can go a long way. His silence allowed for rampant speculation, because humans do not like a vacuum. Our busy little brains will fill the silence with all sorts of ideas. Just a paragraph or two every once in a while would have done a world of good.

    Even in the midst of tragedy, there are moments when we can slip away to attend to the rest of our lives. Granted, roleplaying is a hobby and can "go screw" in the face of real life problems. BUT, James is not just a hobbyist. He's become a would-be publisher. And that means he has a goodly number of would-be customers to which he must answer. The people have placed a lot of ducats on his project, and it's not beyond the pale for them to worry over the the long-awaited results.

  4. I've wished him well, an event like this is hard to get through. Sometimes life really gives you a kick.

  5. HO HUM!!!!! Boo Hoo!!!!!!! Guess what Mr. Grognardia AKA I love stealing people's money and use my dad's illness as an excuse to do it hoping to gain sympathy. You will be joining an elite group known as "My dad died and I am doing fine" club. Get over it you pussy.