I've been reading over some of my draft of Flying Swordsmen 2E, and I'm not happy with it.
Well, I'm happy with the d6 system, and the mechanics I'm using for the game. I'm not happy with the tone of my writing so far.
I was hoping for a nice, friendly, guiding hand explaining the game and how to play. Similar to Frank Mentzer's tone in the old Basic Set. But reading it over, there are a lot of places where I'm slipping into "professor" mode and explaining concepts for the advanced referee and player, rather than for the new gamer. I've also got a lot of sections that are too much like 3E D&D's rules lawyery tone.
Luckily, it's still the first draft, and I've just barely started in the section for the referee on how to create adventures and run the game.
I feel like I need to go over what I've already written and simplify and clarify my writing. I also need to figure out the best way to explain some of the more detailed mechanics. I want martial arts battles to include strikes, parries & dodges, ripostes and reversals, just like in the wuxia source material. d6 allows for that, easily, but my explanations of the mechanics feel too technical in many areas, and over-explained in others.
I know that good writing habits are to get that first draft done before going back to revise. But I think in this case, revising what I've already got and trying to give it a consistent tone will make writing the rest of the book much more enjoyable. And hopefully, clear and fun for the players and referees to read as well.
