Monday, August 12, 2013

The Wheel of Testosterone

What's this?  An actual content post instead of just play reports and me bemoaning my lack of time to do anything?  Surprise surprise!

I'm working on a fairly big undertaking for what will end up being just one single room/encounter in my megadungeon, but once it's discovered I can guarantee it'll be a popular location to visit: The Wheel of Testosterone.
Spinning this wheel will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus.  Just like me.

Remember this post on the awesome Planet Algol blog?  I remember when it first went up, thinking I needed to both steal that and make a Samuel L. Jackson version.

Never got around to that, until I was reminded of the post on a G+ thread a week or so ago (or maybe it was two weeks back now?  Time flies).  Now, instead of scrolls scattered here an there (I may still do that, and maybe have a researchable M-U spell linked to it), I'll have a bit old "wheel of fortune" that if spun, produces a random avatar of an action movie hero.  I'm thinking d12 rolled twice, for 144 spots worth of badass.  Of course, that means collecting enough badass characters and then giving them stats!  Crowd-sourcing could be done on this...

At the moment, following Blair's scroll, I've been making lists of actors and then listing characters they've done that I like.  But some actors end up playing very similar characters over and over again (Jackie Chan, for example), and some are just sorta badass all on their own.  And then there are actors who had one or two badass roles, but that's it (in my opinion, of course). 

So instead of trying to pick the twelve baddest of the bad, or eleven plus one slot for "others" I think I'm going to just write up a big chart with 144 slots, and just fill things in.  That way, I could feel free to include some classic 80's WWF wrestlers like Hulk Hogan (yeah, I guess he did do a few movies/TV shows) and Junk Yard Dog. 

Planning to pull from standard action movies (contemporary), fantasy adventure, pulp, film noir/hardboiled detectives, westerns and war movies.  Chuck Norris, John Wayne, Schwarzenegger, Stalone, Harrison Ford, Val Kilmer, Toshiro Mifune, Jet Li, Will Smith, Mr. T, and plenty more.

If you've got some ideas for who should be on the Wheel, lemme know in the comments!  If you want to go ahead and do a write-up like Blair's for his scroll of summon aspect of Kurt Russel (all yoinked, by the way, thanks Blair!), that would help me out a ton! 

And of course, should there be a Pool of Estrogen which randomly summons Ellen Ripley, Chun Li, various Charlie's Angels, etc. in the same way?


  1. I think you should just put bad-ass Hero types on one table, regardless of major hormone production.

    That said, you might have to rename it to "Wheel of Action" or "Wheel of Heroism"

    And now a list of some possible entries:
    -Ash from Evil Dead
    -Mia from Evil Dead 2013
    -Various GI Joes
    -Wonder Woman
    -Black Canary
    -Green Arrow
    -Various X-Men
    -Buffy the Vampire Slayer
    -Stallone from Demolition Man
    -The Rock
    -Afro Samurai

  2. I'd say go with WHEEL... OF... BADASSERY.
    As it'd cover both women and men.

    Since when you say Wheel of Estrogen, all I can think of is Eddie Murphy imitating Michael Jackson and saying "Hand me a tissue, Tito.. stop teasing" and that overplayed Kickass 2 promo where Hitgirl says "take your tampon out."

    I nominate

    Pam Grier's Foxy Brown
    Hobo with a shogun. This is self explanatory.
    Zatoichi, the blind samurai
    Nick Parker (Rutger Hauer basically being Zatoichi) From Blind Fury. For that matter literally any incarnation of Rutger Hauer.

    I'd also include a version of 00 or Bankrupt on your wheel, where the spin results in an insane killing machine who isn't helpful such as Rutger Hauer's Hitcher, who proceeds to chase and bedevil the party.